The Charisma Myth: Summary and Review
The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism by Olivia Fox Cabane
Review
A grab bag of techniques for charisma.
Summary
Three fundamentals of Charisma
- Power: Ability to offer value to others
- Warmth: Willingness to offer value to others
- Presence: Being present with the other person
How to communicate the fundamentals
Power
- Speak concisely (reduce “ums”)
- Use metaphors
- Provide high value
- Have good control over the pitch, tone, and tempo of your speech and don’t let it run off-hand
- Limit superfluous gestures
Presence
- Listening well
- Not interrupting
- Pausing before speaking
Warmth
- Create positive associations with yourself
- Avoid negative associations with yourself
- Make other people feel valued and important
Four types of Charisma
- Authority
- Visionary
- Focus (being in a “bubble” with your conversation partner)
- Kindness
Taking compliments
How would Bill Clinton respond to a compliment?
- Stop (in your tracks)
- Absorb the compliment. Savor it.
- Let the absorption show on in your body language
- Sincerely thank them
Imagine yourself as the “big gorilla” in order to project non-verbal power.
JALIR (Envy-prevention)
- Justification: Create an excuse for getting in touch
- Appreciation: Thank the person for what they’ve done for you
- Lay it all out: Demonstrate how the person helped and acknowledge that they went out of their way
- Impact: Let them know the positive impact they’ve had
- Responsibility: Give them as much credit as you can, and they will feel responsible for your success.